Slumber Party
by Opalora
Summary: While Mal, Zoe and Jayne are on a Job, the rest of the crew discovers River has never had a Slumber Party and decide all girls should have one. Contains Mal/Inara and Jayne/Kaylee
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to the people who cancelled the show. Also this is complete and utter fluff, like super fluff. May you giggle and squee, and reviews are welcomed whole heartedly and post if you want me to continue it._

Zoe, Mal and Jayne left the ship early one afternoon to complete their latest legitimate business enterprise. Kaylee was checking her inter-engine fermentation system and managed to drag out two large four gallon bottles from the engine room to the dining room where Simon and River were playing a game of chess.

"Oh Kaylee you should have let me help you!" Simon said standing up in an attempt to be chivalrous. Kaylee smiled at him.

"Simon just wants an excuse to end the game. He's losing again." River said staring closely at the little wooden chess pieces. Book had given them to her as a gift when he left for Haven. She carefully picked up her bishop and slid it across the board. Her eyes filled with concentration. "Checkmate." She added quickly. Simon sighed. She had beaten him every time they played, and she insisted they play often.

"It's alright Simon; I figure we all could use a break and a good strong drink while everyone else is out workin'." She grinned, trying to hide her amusement over his sisters' victory. She brushed her hair out of her eyes as Wash came down from the bridge.

"Oohh Kaylee is that a fresh batch?" Wash asked stepping down into the dining room. He took a seat at the table across from Simon.

"Sure is; A fresh batch ready for drinkin'." She replied wiping the sweat from her forehead. River smiled eagerly at Simon, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I'm 18." She said seriously. Simon shook his head.

"No Meimei. It may cause problems with your medication and..."

"Oh go on Simon, one drink ain't gonna hurt her none." Kaylee said nudging him on the arm. He sighed, he had been defeated again.

"Okay, one drink." He said exasperatedly. "A small one." Inara came down from her shuttle and walked into the kitchen to make tea.

"Come on 'Nara, we're breakin' open a fresh batch." Kaylee said. Inara smiled and looked over at them standing around the large bottles.

"Sure Meimei, but not too much, I don't want to wake with a headache." Inara said. Kaylee grabbed the glasses and lifted the jug and poured them all a glass, except River only got half a glass.

"To Serenity!" River cried out and downed her glass. She coughed and spluttered as the moonshine burned her throat. They all laughed and raised their glasses, drinking to the ship.

About an hour later they were far less than sober. River was hiccupping, giggling and swaying on her seat, having convinced Simon to let her have four more glasses. They had started playing a game of Truth or Dare. Wash had already skipped through the kitchen in his underwear as per Rivers request. Simon had told them all how he had lost his virginity (they were all mildly shocked when he told them he wasn't a virgin), and Inara had sung the Alliance anthem backwards.

"Okay, Truth!" Kaylee said. Inara grinned and took a sip from her glass.

"When did you have your first kiss?" Inara asked. Kaylee giggled and her cheeks went red.

"I was twelve. It was a friends Slumber Party, they dared me to kiss my friends older brother." She said. They all laughed. River's laugh faded and she looked up from the table.

"I've never had a Slumber Party." She said sadly. Simon, though twice as drunk as River, realised the Alcohol had a small effect on her condition. She was still tipsy, but her speech was coherent and normal. She sounded like his little sister again, although a slightly drunk little sister.

Kaylee looked astonished.

"You ain't never had a Sleep Over, with all your friends?" Kaylee said turning to glare at Simon.

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Simon said raising his hands in defence. "There was just no time for it, with all her studying, River never had time for making friends."

"That's tragic." Wash said lifting his head from the table and looking at River bleary eyed. The rest of them jumped when he spoke, they had thought he had passed out. "I mean, a little girl without a sleep over, is like... like... Jayne without a gun." Kaylee giggled and then looked at Inara.

"We could have one now." Kaylee said clapping her hands together. Inara nodded.

"We can have it in my shuttle!" Inara said. "It's separate from the rest of the ship, and there is plenty of space."

"And all your things are there!" River exclaimed jovially leaping to her feet.

"We can do each others hair, and make up and talk about boys." Kaylee said her face lighting up with drunken excitement. Wash laughed at the expression on Kaylees face. River too was grinning. Inara, Kaylee and River all stood up.

"I guess the men will stay here." Wash said a little sadly. He looked at Simon and felt slightly put out that he'd only have the doctor for company. Even drunk, Simon seemed to be boring.

"Don't be silly Wash, you can come too!" Kaylee said pulling on his arm. Simon stood up too. "Not you!" Kaylee said to Simon. "No Boys allowed!"

"But Wash..." Simon said looking confused and slightly hurt.

"Wash is married, so it don't count." Kaylee said matter-of-factly. "Come on Wash, we'll give you a make over." Wash shrugged at Simon. Kaylee grabbed him by the arm and started pulling him away from the table.

"Hey I don't make the rules!" Wash grinned and he grabbed the half empty jug of Moonshine.

Inara led them all to her shuttle and closed the door, locking it behind them, leaving Simon alone in the kitchen with the remaining jug of moonshine.


	2. Chapter 2

3 hours later

Jayne, Mal and Zoe returned from the Job.

"Well that went smoother than usual." Jayne said suspiciously tucking his gun back in its holster.

"I'm surprised my own self, though I'd really like to get off this rock before it even has a chance to go south." Mal said.

"Things seem awfully quiet Sir. Doesn't Kaylee or Wash normally meet us at the doors when we return?" Zoe said.

"You don't think we got an ambush waiting for us up there do ya Mal?" Jayne asked. Mal didn't reply but he had an inkling that something was definitely waiting for them; whether or not it was something they should be worried about.

"Well, no sense in hanging around here waiting for something to happen." Mal said hiding his concern. "But keep your guns at the ready."

Jayne locked the doors behind them and followed Mal and Zoe who already headed up to the mess. They were being extra quiet to make sure not to startle anyone who ought not to be startled. When Jayne caught up with Zoe and Mal, they had stopped in the doorway blocking his path into the dining room.

"What are y'all staring at?" Jayne asked, peering over their shoulders to where Simon was sitting with an empty jug and one of his socks on his hand. He stared bleary eyed at the Captain.

"Hey Cappin." Simon said standing up and straightening his jacket. "Kaylees 'shine is very very good." He said before hiccupping. Jayne felt a pang of loss looking at the empty jug; he'd not even had a sip.

"Where is everyone?" Mal asked.

"Oh, they left me here alone, with the 'shine, to go to Inaras' shuttle." Simon said. He then pointed to the sock on his hand. "I'm not really alone though, this is Jayne two. He's doesn't talk much, but he's a better conversationalist than the original Jayne, and I'd say he's better looking too." Simon said eyeing his sock puppet seriously. Mal and Zoe laughed. Jayne glared but he couldn't be too angry, the fact that the doc was going to be in serious trouble dulled the insult some.

"What are they doing in Inaras' Shuttle?" Mal asked.

"They decided to have a Slumber party." Simon said. "River hadn't had one before."

Jayne walked to the table and picked up the empty bottle and sniffed it.

"Smells like it was a good batch. Houdan drank every drop." Jayne said mournfully tipping the bottle upside down, he glared at Simon.

"Why did they leave you out?" Mal asked ignoring Jaynes' lament.

"No Men allowed." Simon replied unhappily.

"So where's Wash?" Zoe asked curiously. She looked around the dining area seeing if she could catch a glimpse of her wayward husband.

"Oh he's in there with them. Apparently being married stops you from being a Man." Simon said matter-of-factly.

"Which is why I ain't hitched." Jayne said.

"Yes, I'm sure THAT's why you aren't married." Simon replied sarcastically and rolling his eyes.

"Well, we need him to get this ship into the air." Mal said. Simon downed the last of the moonshine in his glass, much to Jaynes' displeasure.

"You'll have to get them out of Inaras' shuttle first." Simon said placing the glass on the table. As the glass left his hand he passed out, his body crumpling to the floor.

"Zoe, go see if you can get the others out of Inara's shuttle." Mal said. "I'm going to have a few words with the doctor. Jayne grinned; he did so enjoy it when the doctor got chewed out for screwing up.


	3. Chapter 3

Meanwhile

"I think you look pretty." Kaylee said. She was lying on the sofa staring up at the ceiling. River was lying on her stomach on Inaras' bed. Wash was sitting in front of Inara as she sat on her chair. She was putting curlers in his hair.

"You think Zoe will like it?" Wash asked reaching up to the little pink curlers in his hair.

"Of course!" Inara said. "She'll think you're pretty too." Wash grinned.

"Do me next!" River said. "I want to look pretty too."

"You're already pretty meimei," Inara said. "Come here, and let me do your make up." Wash and River traded places.

"So 'Nara," Kaylee said. "When you gonna tell the captain?" Inaras' looked at Kaylee quizzically.

"Yeah, 'Nara." Wash said resting his head on his hands as he lay on her bed and leaning on his elbows catching on to Kaylees' train of thought. He stared at Inara avidly. She had already done his make up, so Inara couldn't help but smirk at him batting his mascara'd eyelashes at her, and grinning with full red lips.

"Tell the Captain what?" She asked.

"When you gonna tell him that you're madly in love with him." Kaylee said rolling over to look at Inara. Kaylees' hair and make up had been done by Wash, so she had a ponytail on the side of her head and her make up was shaky and she had a smear of lipstick on her chin. They had all told her she looked pretty so she didn't mind at all.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Inara said looking down at Rivers head, trying to hide the fact she was blushing.

"Oh come on 'Nara, it's not like you hide it very well." Wash said. "I mean, even I can see it, and I didn't even know when Zoe was fallin' in love with me."

"I was there!" Kaylee said slightly choking on her drink "It was funny watching them two chasing each other round the ship like love struck teenagers. Drove Mal crazy seein' his first mate all googly eyed. Oohh Wash, remember when she was hittin' on you, and you were so oblivious, and she go so angry that she picked you up by the collar, and smacked your head against the wall."

"Yeah, then she kissed me so passionately..." Wash said trailing off his eyes glazing over as he lost himself in the memories. He sighed deeply.

"I never laughed so hard in my life. Mal was so mad, 'cause she gave you a concussion, and we was grounded for two extra days while you recovered." Kaylee said. Wash and Kaylee laughed at their shared memories.

"Those were some pretty rough times though." Wash said seriously, filling his glass again. "Few jobs I'd be glad to forget."

"Weren't so bad," Kaylee said. "But I guess you, Cappin and Zoe been on the ship long'r 'an me."

"Yeaah, fond memories of Bester the Wonder Mechanic." Wash said sarcastically. "Couldn't tell a screw from a nail."

"Oh believe you me; he knew what a screw was." Kaylee said raising her glass and smiling knowingly. Wash and Inara laughed. River regarded Kaylee with an expression of curiosity on her face and cocked her head to the side.

"A screw is a piece of metal, pointed and flat with ridges, used to bring things together." River said as Inara turned her head back so she could continue to apply the make up. Kaylee and Wash giggled.

"But 'Nara, I seen the way he looks at you. The Cappin' don't wanna admit he's got feelin's." Kaylee said brightly.

"Come on 'Nara, s'not like he doesn't fancy you." Wash said in agreement. "Looks at you, 'Nara, same way that Jayne looks at his guns." Wash said swallowing another mouthful. River shook her head.

"Same way Jayne looks at Kaylee." She said quietly.

"I think you've all had too much 'shine." Inara said brushing Rivers hair.

"That may be true, but you should tell him anyway." Kaylee said picking up her glass and having another drink. "And what was that you said about Jayne, River?

"What about you and the doctor?" Inara asked before River could reply. It was Kaylees turn to blush.

"Well, he's... I mean... I'm... this ain't about me!" Kaylee said. Inara laughed. "Besides, the doctor don't want anything to do with me anymore. Apparently I'm not his type. Not that I mind so much anymore."

"Who do you think is better looking Mal or Simon?" Wash said thoughtfully, changing the subject and adjusting his curlers. They looked at him with stunned expressions. "What? It's an honest question. I mean, everyone knows I'm the handsomest on the ship out of everyone, but I'm a married man. Sorry to break all your hearts but its true." Wash drank another glass of moonshine.

"Simon has the core good looks, looks that show good breeding and an easy life." Inara said running a brush through Rivers hair. "He doesn't have the rugged charm that Mal does. Mal has the kind of face that can show kindness and strength at the same time."

"Rugged Charm?" Kaylee asked with a laugh. "Simon is the kind of handsome you'd be happy to take home to your family to make your sisters jealous, but his face only seems to show confusion, or concentration. Mal, well, he's handsome yes, but I'd say Jayne was better looking than Mal." They all stared at her, mouths hanging open in surprise.

"Jayne? Better looking than Mal?" Inara scoffed.

"Don't deny you haven't looked Inara." Kaylee said waving her finger. Inara blushed and River laughed.

"Hold still Meimei." Inara said politely to River. "I can't deny I haven't looked at Jayne, but he... his personality tends to overshadow his looks." Kaylee shrugged and rolled back over onto her back.

"Well, Simons' personality overshadows his looks... not his type, what does that even mean." Kaylee said trying to hide the tone of bitterness in her voice. "And Simon, he's got a nice body, but Jayne, is bigger, makes you think if he's big all over." Inara stared at Kaylee open mouthed.

"Kaylee!" Inara said laughing. River smirked and looked down at her feet.

"Well, you know what they say about men with big feet." Wash said.

"No, what do they say about men with big feet?" River asked innocently, looking at Wash wide eyed. Wash looked at River and laughed nervously.

"Big Combat Boots?" He replied quickly. They all burst out laughing. Suddenly there was a loud knocking on the door.

"Wash, you in there?" Zoe called. Wash jumped off the bed.

"What's the secret password?" River cried out.

"Jayne is coming up here with the blowtorch." Zoe said.

"I think it's safe to let her in." Wash said with a slightly nervous chuckle. He unlocked the door and Zoe was standing there. She saw his hair and the shiny green dressing gown of Inara's he was wearing and she smirked. It was too small for his shoulders and looked to be restricting his arms a little. Wash closed and locked the door behind her.

"Hi Zoe! You here for the slumber party?" Kaylee asked.

"But more importantly" Wash said "Do you think I look pretty?" He grinned at her and twirled. Zoe laughed and kissed Wash. His lipstick rubbed off on her lips.

"You look very pretty, Husband." She said. "Now hand me a glass of that 'shine, Simon has drunk that entire jug downstairs by hisself and Jayne is moonin' over that empty bottle like he ain't been paid." Wash poured her a glass and handed it to her with a curtsy. She smiled and drank her glass. Wash climbed back onto Inaras' bed and Zoe removed her boots and did the same.

"So what are we talking about?" She asked. "Hopefully something girly. It's been a while since I talked about something girly." She snuggled into her husband and he threw an arm around her.

"Who is handsomer, Mal, Jayne or Simon?" Wash said. "But you agree with me right, that I'm the handsomest out of all of them?" Zoe laughed.

"Of course, I wouldn't be the luckiest girl in the 'verse if you weren't." She replied. Wash kissed her cheek. Inara turned to look at Zoe.

"Kaylee here thinks Jayne is better looking than Mal." Inara said with a hint of mocking in her tone. Zoe scoffed.

"Really, Kaylee?" Zoe asked looking at Kaylee and wrinkling her nose.

"Well yeah, you're all just hooked on how crude he can be. If you look past the crudeness, he smiles real pretty, and his eyes, like the sky on a good clear day." Kaylee sighed. "And he can be really sweet sometimes." Kaylee added. "At least, he is to me anyway." Wash looked at her aghast and confused.

"When does this sweet version of Jayne appear? After everyone has gone to bed, during a full moon, after sacrificing some kind of animal to some kind of heathen god?" Wash asked. "'Cause I've never seen it."

"I don't know, sometimes he'll help me in the Engine room, or help me carry heavy parts onto the ship. Just little things." Kaylee said almost wistfully.

"I think little Kaylee here has a crush on Jayne." Zoe said laughing.

"I'm starting to think the same thing." Wash said nudging Zoe, they both exchanged significant looks and started laughing.

"I do not have a crush on Jayne." Kaylee said throwing a pillow at them. The pillow hit the bed and bounced off. Inara laughed.

"I think you hit a nerve there Zoe." Inara said as she braided Rivers hair. River laughed. Inara was relieved the subject had gone off her and Mal.

"Well, at least I've not been pinin' for the Cappin for a whole year. You should just tell him 'Nara, get it all out in the open." Inara sighed, her reprieve was short lived.

"Are you admitting you have a crush on Jayne?" Inara asked slyly trying to twist the subject back. Zoe and Wash chuckled.

"She does! She does!" River said eagerly. Kaylee glared at River but she grinned straight after.

"I'll admit it, if you admit you're in love with the Cappin, and you have to tell him." Kaylee said before finishing her glass of moonshine. Inara smiled.

"You've got a deal." She said. Inara looked down at River. Her hair was in a long braid and she looked quite elegant.

"You look real pretty River." Kaylee said. River grinned and leaped to her feet.

"Are we going to reveal secrets now?" River asked twirling. Kaylee stood up.

"I think it's time." Kaylee said staring down Inara. Inara stood up and straightened her dress. "You have to tell Mal as soon as we see him."

"Then you have to admit you have a crush on Jayne" Inara said. They wavered slightly on their feet. Neither of them realised how drunk they really were.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** _There is more to come, I'm just a little reluctant to post the rest unless I'm sure you fellow fans want to hear it. The rest is very Jaylee oriented, because they are just so cute. I'll post the rest if the reviews reflect that you want to hear more. Hope you don't mind, and I hope you enjoyed the super fluff._

Just Then

Mal arrived outside Inaras' shuttle with Jayne a few steps behind.

"Where in the 'verse did Zoe go?" Mal asked.

"Maybe she's in there with 'em?" Jayne said. "She ain't anywhere else on the ship." Then the shuttle door opened and Inara was standing there. Kaylee was standing behind her with an excited look. The two men were surprised by their sudden appearance and both stepped back.

"Don't chicken out 'Nara." Kaylee called out. Inara smiled and walked up to Mal and kissed him full on the lips. Mal stumbled back a step or two, but he put his arms around her and in few moments he was kissing her back. When she broke away she smiled at him.

"I love you Malcolm Reynolds." She said brightly. Mal smiled and felt his heart lift like it never had before.

"Don't ruin it Cappin! Tell her you love her too!" Kaylee yelled.

"Shut up! I'm gettin' to that!" Mal hissed at Kaylee. He turned back to Inara and smiled. "I love you too Inara." He said quietly. She smiled wider and kissed him again.

"Huzzah!" Wash exclaimed loudly from Inara's bed. Zoe nudged him and burst out laughing. After a few moments Inara then turned to Kaylee. Kaylees' joyous grin evaporated.

"Now it's your turn Kaylee! You promised!" She exclaimed. Kaylee shook her head and vanished into Inaras' shuttle. Inara followed her all composure lost.

"Come on Kaylee, say it! Say it and mean it!" She said. Kaylee laughed and ducked behind the sofa. She squealed and Inara grabbed her arm and pulled her out, they both fell to the ground and Inara pinned her. "Say it!"

Kaylee laughed and shook her head. Mal and Jayne had followed them into the shuttle. Jayne caught site of Zoe and Wash in make up and curlers and smirked.

"Say it Kaylee!" Wash said. "You did promise!"

"Come on Kaylee! Inara kept her end of the bargain!" Zoe said laughing. Inara grabbed Kaylees other hand.

"Not letting go until you say it!" Inara said she started tickling Kaylee who was laughing hysterically.

"What is going on here?" Mal asked losing his patience.

"Shhh Mal!" Wash said. "We're just getting to the good part!"

"Okay, 'Nara, I'll say it!" Kaylee said through tears of laughter. "Just let me go first." Inara stood up and let Kaylee sit up. Inara placed her hands on her hips.

"Well? What are you admitting little Kaylee?" Inara asked.

Kaylee muttered something incoherently.

"I didn't hear you Meimei." Inara said mockingly.

"I have a crush on Jayne!" Kaylee said loudly, her cheeks automatically turning red. Zoe, Wash and River roared with laughter. Inara grinned smugly. Kaylee looked at Jayne sheepishly whose eyes were wide, but the rest of his face remained expressionless. She then burst out laughing and fell backwards into the sofa.

"Okay, playtime is over, we have to get this ship in the air." Mal said. "Wash, you and Zoe get down to the bridge. Kaylee go down to the engine room, Jayne, River, go drag Simon from the dining room to his bunk." They all grumbled and moved off to do their Jobs leaving Mal and Inara alone in her shuttle.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**_ Hi! Here is the second section, some of it seems very fluffy, and highly unlikely with all the chasing around, but I hope you find it as amusing as I did while writing it. The next few parts are quite short, I thought I would seperate them all. I'm hoping to get them all in tonight. Not sure how many there are all together, but I suppose when you read this you will know. Hope you enjoy, please review, I don't mind a good old critique._

The Following Day

Simon, Inara and Kaylee were sitting at the table all nursing headaches. Kaylee and Simon had been dragged out of their bunks early that morning and forbidden to sleep off their hangovers as punishment for drinking all the moonshine the night before.

"You shouldn't have let me drink so much." Inara said. She however, had been allowed to sleep, but she felt guilty for not being punished and chose to be up with Kaylee and Simon. Wash and Zoe too had not been punished as Zoe had not had much and Mal wouldn't have dared punish Wash.

"Shhhhh" Simon hissed. "Every sound you make is killing me." He was resting his head on the table trying to sneak a few moments of sleep. He had dark circles under his eyes and his skin had a greenish hue.

"You should have thought about that before you drank yourself stupid." Mal said loudly as he stomped into the dining room. Kaylee and Simon cringed clamping their hands over their ears. He smirked at them and then gave Inara a warm smile. She returned it.

Kaylee caught their exchange. Mal walked off towards the bridge.

"See told you." Kaylee said. Inara blushed, but she did not look displeased. "So, spill, how did your talk go?" Inara lowered her head modestly.

"There wasn't much talking." She said and Kaylee punched her shoulder playfully. "We did talk though, and I think I've never been this happy meimei."

"'Nara, you and the Captain deserve to be happy." Kaylee said.

"And what about you Kaylee?" Inara whispered in her ear. Kaylee's cheeks went red.

"He's been avoidin' me." Kaylee whispered. "I tried to talk to him late last night, but he told me I was too drunk, and to go to my own bunk."

"And Simon?" Inara asked.

"He already said I'm not his type. I can't chase someone who won't be caught. Doesn't stop Simon from bein' pleasin' to the eye though." Kaylee added with a wink. Simon had his head on the table and moaned in agony.

"Stop whispering! You're making my head hurt." He said.

"Besides, I can't be with a man who can't hold his liquor." Kaylee said loudly. Simon moaned in reply.

"So Jayne's been avoiding you?" She asked ignoring Simons plea. Kaylee nodded.

"Yeah, I don't blame him though." Kaylee said. "Having that kind of information shouted out, probably doesn't want the captain to throw him from an airlock."

Then as if summoned Jayne walked into the dining room; he caught sight of Kaylee and turned back around towards the cargo bay.

"I'm gonna go have a few words with him." Kaylee said standing up.

She chased Jayne down to the cargo bay. However when she got there he had vanished. She ain't never known Jayne to run from anything, 'cept Reavers, but he sure seemed afraid of being in the same room as her.

"How can a man of that size vanish into thin air?" She exclaimed angrily. She stalked back up to dining room. Inara was still sitting and smirking at Simon who was telling her in a small whisper that he would never drink again.

Inara turned around. "How did it go?"

"I couldn't find him." Kaylee said. "He must know every hidin' place on this boat." You know what, I got an idea."

As Kaylee bounded off with her cunning plan, River walked in carrying the chess set with a determined look in her eye. Simon looked up at her and wondered vaguely why she didn't seem hung over.

"Play?" She asked Simon. He moaned and put his head back on the table shaking it as she went. River looked crestfallen. She didn't persist though; she just wandered back out of the dining room.


	6. Chapter 6

Later

Jayne looked around the corner of the dining room. It was mercifully empty. He had been spending most of the day secretly rearranging the cargo bay for optimum efficiency, and hiding whenever someone tried to find him there. He didn't know how long he could keep avoidin' her. She knew this ship better than he did, and sooner or later she was going to find him, and he would have to face her, but he was going prolong that moment 'til his head was clearer.

He knew he loved her, that was clear enough to him, but he wasn't riskin' getting tossed out an airlock by pronouncing it to her and her runnin' off to Mal. He reasoned to himself. The truth of the matter was he didn't want to find out if what she said was a drunken mistake, or some kind of joke at his expense. He could still hear their laughter and to him it seemed to mean the latter. He didn't think she really meant what she said, as if the Moonbrain had known his feelings and told them all. Like he was like some big rutting joke. He scowled.

He wanted to be mad at her but he couldn't. So instead of yellin' at her until she cried he decided avoiding her was better. He couldn't stand to see her cry anyway. He kicked one of the chairs in frustration.

He opened his food locker and grabbed something to eat. He had been hungry all morning. The gorram doctor and 'Nara were talking late into the afternoon and as much as the Companion expressed her distaste for him, he liked her more than he liked the doc, but he still didn't want to be in the same room as either of them. Jayne ate quickly and noisily, trying to spend as little time in the kitchen as he could before he took refuge in his bunk.

When he was done eating he quietly made his way to his bunk. He opened it and climbed down. When entered his bunk he saw Kaylee fast asleep on his bed. He sighed and caught sight of a book hanging loosely in her hand. He assumed she had been desperate to speak with him and tried to ambush him in his own bunk. Jayne sighed, hard to be mad at a girl that determined. He wasn't going to risk being tossed through an airlock just yet so he pulled a blanket over her. She looked beautiful, fast asleep in his bunk. He resisted the urge to run his fingers along her cheek. Her golden brown hair was splayed across his pillow.

As he climbed out of his bunk he bumped straight into Mal.

"Where in the gorram hell have you been Jayne?" Mal asked. "No-one has seen neither hide nor hair of you all day." Jayne shrugged.

"Be'n in the Cargo Bay, whole time." He said truthfully. Mal's eyes narrowed trying to find a shred of a lie. The man always had a way of knowin' when he was hiding something.

"I got my eye on you." Mal said threateningly when he couldn't find any lie.

"I ain't seen you either; 'cause you've been holed up in Inara's shuttle." Jayne said venting his frustration on the captain. Mal was about to reprimand him, but a smile crept onto his face.

"That ain't any of your business," Mal said trying to remove the smile. Jayne smirked and watched Mal head for his own bunk, the argument clearly over because Mal couldn't be angry. When Mal had vanished Jayne went down to the passenger dorms and quietly took one of the spare rooms, locking the door behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

In the Morning

Kaylee woke with a start. At first she couldn't figure out where she was, then the events came flooding back and her stomach sank. She had waited all day for him, and he even avoided his own bunk. She then realised she was under a blanket and her stomach lurched.

Jayne had not avoided his bunk; he had found her asleep and made sure she was warm before finding somewhere else to sleep. She didn't know why, but she thought that was unbelievably sweet. She got up from his bed and climbed out of his bunk. She walked into the dining room where Zoe and Wash were having one of their secret tender moments. She smiled and wished she could have someone to make out with in the morning.

Zoe caught sight of Kaylee and she smiled and pulled away.

"Mornin' little Kaylee." She said. Wash turned around trying not to look disappointed at the intrusion. "Sleep well?"

"I guess so." Kaylee said.

"Still trying to find Jayne?" Wash asked. Kaylee nodded.

"I stayed in his bunk most of the day, and all night, still didn't see him." She sighed and sat at the table.

"I have it on good authority he has been hiding out in the cargo bay." Zoe said. Wash turned to her confused.

"Whose authority?" Wash asked looking at his wife curiously.

"Captain says he saw him last night leavin' his bunk. Jayne said he'd been in the cargo bay all day." Zoe said. Kaylee beamed.

"Thanks Zoe." She said before making her way to the cargo bay.

"Now where were we?" Wash said, pulling Zoe close.


	8. Chapter 8

Meanwhile

Jayne had been dreaming about home. He was caught in the place between dreams and waking. He took comfort in the quiet and shifted slightly. A slow creepifying feeling that someone was watching him suddenly swept over him. His eyes opened sharply and the moonbrain was leaning over him staring at him without blinking.

"What in the hell? How did you get in here? I thought I locked the door!" Jayne growled. He pulled the blanket up swiftly to cover his bare chest. River smiled serenely.

"She doesn't have to use keys to unlock secrets." She said. Jayne shifted backwards on the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chest. "You're playing hide and seek." She grinned. Simon's head peered around the corner.

"River, what are you doing?" He asked.

"I want to play hide and seek too." She said.

"No meimei, come on, let's go have another game of Chess." Simon's eyes fell on Jayne.

"You gotta keep that girl in check." Jayne said relaxing.

"What are you even doing in here anyway?" Simon asked. "Don't you have your own bunk?" Jayne looked away nervously.

"My bunk was occupied." Jayne snapped. He stood up put his shirt on and left Simon and River alone in the passenger dorm. He left just in time to watch Kaylee run down toward the cargo bay. She hadn't noticed him skulking in the shadows. He quickly made his way to the dining room.

He caught sight of Inara making tea in the kitchen. He weighed his options. He needed to pass her in order to get to his bunk; he could always sneak into the engine room. He decided the risk of seeing the awake Kaylee was more than he could stand to bare. He entered the dining room and didn't make any motion to stop and have something to eat.

"Jayne!" Inara said. "Kaylee has been looking for you."

"I know." He said. "I'm not in the mood to be wantin' her to find me." He continued through towards the bunks.

"She really wants to speak with you." Inara said. Jayne shrugged and went to his bunk. As he expected he heard Inaras' footsteps quickly heading out of the dining room. He grinned and climbed out of his bunk and walked up to the bridge.

Wash was sitting in his usual spot, staring out at the stars. Jayne sat down in the spare seat and followed his gaze into the black. Wash looked over at him and did a double take.

"Is there any reason why you're up here?" Wash asked at length. Jayne shrugged.

"It's quiet." he said. "I won't make no noise." He added without looking at Wash.

"You know Kaylee has been looking for you." Wash said.

"I know." Jayne said.

"She even hid in your bunk all day."

"I know."

"The girl seems to really want to speak with you." Wash said.

"Can you just keep your gorram mouth shut? I need to be able to hear if anyone is coming, and if'n you don't want me to find me my Chain of Command, you best keep quiet." Jayne snapped. Wash backed down and turned back to the stars.

Jayne relaxed. Why did everyone have to get so nosy? 'Twernt their business. He sulked in his head. He didn't want to face her despite missing her like nothin' he'd ever missed before. He couldn't stand not knowing what to say, or what she'd say. So she said she was crushin' on him. He shifted and his lips twisted angrily. Didn't really mean anything to anyone else the way they were laughin', but it meant the world to him, and to have it turn into a joke or a lie would crush him. He didn't want to admit it, but he did have one weakness in the whole gorram 'verse and she was spending her time trying to find him and talk to him.

Wash watched him out of the corner of his eye. The menace radiating from the gunhand was unsettling. Wash wanted to say something so he said the first thing he could think of.

"We had all been drinking; Kaylee didn't know what she was saying. I don't think she really meant what she was saying." Wash said. Jayne gave him a sidelong glance and sighed. "We were teasing her, and she only said it to get Inara to tell Mal how she felt."

"That's what I'm afraid of little man." Jayne said dejectedly before standing up and leaving the Bridge through the stairs that led down to the cargo bay; leaving Wash alone again on the bridge.

As Jayne left Zoe came up to the bridge with two mugs of tea in her hands. She saw the odd expression on her husbands face.

"What happened?" she asked handing him a mug of tea. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I just saw Jayne." Wash said.

"He still hidin' from Kaylee?" Zoe asked taking the seat that Jayne had occupied.

"Apparently."

"Inara just told Kaylee Jayne was in his bunk." Zoe said confused. She sighed. "That man sure knows how to hide."

"Well, he is an expert tracker." Wash said. "I suppose when he needs to hide, he thinks backwards."

"What did he say Husband?" Zoe said. Wash told her of their brief conversation.

Zoe leaned back on the chair.

"It certainly explains a few things. If we tell Kaylee this information, she's going to be even more determined to talk to him." Zoe said thoughtfully.

"Yes, but he threatened me again with the Chain of Command again, aren't you going to defend my honour or something?" Wash asked jokingly.

"You sure that's what he said?" Zoe asked seriously.

"Yes, we've been over this. Sooner or later he's going to have to face her. The question is, when, and how can we get front row seats?" Wash replied grinning. Zoe smirked.

"Captain ain't gonna like this." She said.

"When does the Captain ever like anything?"


	9. Chapter 9

Meanwhile

Kaylee was frustrated as hell. She had scoured the cargo bay and found no trace of him. She hadn't seen him in almost two days. She couldn't believe how hard it was to find him; the man must never stop moving. She watched as Inara hurry down the catwalk.

"He's in his bunk!" She called out. Kaylee bolted up the stairs and into the dining room. She hurried past Inara and stood outside his bunk. She straightened herself up and descended.

It was empty.

She let loose a string of curses that would have made her papa blush. She climbed up the stairs and walked into the dining room where Zoe was making tea. Kaylee sat down put her head in her hands. Inara stepped into the dining room and saw Kaylee.

"Not there?" She asked. Kaylee shook her head sadly. Inara sighed and put her arm around Kaylee. Zoe took her mugs of tea and headed passed the bunks to the bridge.

Mal walked into the dining hall and smiled at Inara, she returned it. He had spent another morning in her company. She had told him the complicated rules of dating and being a companion. He accepted them grudgingly. His logic being that if they were married, she could move into his bunk, and she could stop working. The thought of being married to her made his smile more potent. It faded swiftly when he caught the dejected look on Kaylees face.

"Oh Meimei, what happened?" He asked. Inara patted Kaylees head.

"She still can't find Jayne." Inara said. Mal looked confused.

"The Doctor said he slept in the Passenger Dorm last night. Which reminds me, River broke the lock on one of the doors, and it'll need repairing." Kaylee smiled, she felt a little better with something to do. She got up and went to the engine room. She picked up her tool kit and then made her way to the passenger dorm to fix the lock.

As Kaylee fixed the lock on the door River watched her silently from the bed.

"She watched him sleep." River said quietly looking at her hands. Kaylee yawned and continued working.

"That's nice River." She said.

"She saw his dreams. They were pretty. Saw land as far as the eye could see. Hills, trees, water, flowers. She saw horses and cows through his eyes. Saw Sunlight, and clouds, saw stars above, rather than around." River said.

"Mhmmmm" Kaylee said, not really listening.

"Saw you, bright and shiny. Like a new coin. Saw you through his eyes." River said. Kaylee stopped working and turned to River. "Not surprised he smiles so big when you say his name."

"What was that River?" Kaylee asked curiously.

"It's raining." She said looking up. There was a loud thud followed by a hundred little crashes. Kaylee stood up and left the passenger dorm to see the commotion. She walked to the cargo bay where she thought the sound had come from.

A surge of relief and joy exploded through her. Jayne was standing in the cargo bay surrounded by a dozen small crates, one of which had burst open spilling a thousand little engine parts all over him.

He looked up and saw her. There was a small gash over his eye where one of the parts must have hit him. He was frozen in place, his eyes wide. He bent down and immediately started picking up the engine parts, as if she was about to start yelling at him for dropping them.

Kaylee ran down the stairs and started helping him. She didn't say anything; she was just glad he didn't try and run. In silence they cleaned up the crates and when it was done she looked up at the gash above his eye.

"Let's get something on that." She said. He didn't say anything but followed her up to the infirmary. She didn't go run get Simon, she sat him down on the chair and dabbed at the wound with a damp cloth. He did not say anything, just stared at her as she worked.

He was waiting for her to do all the talking the others had promised she was going to do. He had waited while they picked up the engine parts; he had waited while she cleaned the gash on his forehead. He waited while she put a fresh weave on it. He waited, and watched her stand over him. Then she smiled, and he forgot about waiting, he forgot about promises of airlocks and beatings. He smiled back.


	10. Chapter 10

Meanwhile,

Simon and River were sitting at the dining room table. River was staring intensely at the chess pieces between her and her brother. She was the White, and he the Black. She had beaten her brother in every game they had ever played. He was no challenge for her, an easy mark. Someone she could twist in the right way to get what she needed.

Her dark eyes turned towards his blue ones and she tried to find her way inside his mind, but he was resisting. All she could see was a small figurine of a swan. A picture of an almost swan. She narrowed her eyes. He couldn't hide his smug smile, he could not hide the fact he knew she knew she was having trouble finding her way into his mind.

"It's your move." He said happily. River slid her remaining bishop across the board, her eyes never leaving Simon's face. He chuckled as her fingers pulled away and returned to their place on the table. She watched his expression put on a fake look of concentration. She tried again to figure out his next move, but his thoughts were still hidden. He slid his Queen and stole her last Bishop. Her face remained blank but the surprise registered in her eyes and Simon could see.

He was winning. Her fallen pieces lay beside the board like tiny trophies of brilliance. He continued to keep his mind upon the swan figurine. Inara had taught him how to keep it in front of his thoughts during his hangover, protecting himself from Rivers continual adventures into his mind. She would not anticipate his moves, she would not know them as he thought them; she would only get an image of a swan. Her surprise at the loss of another piece made him confident.

Her fingers slipped around the queen side castle. Her eyes moved from Simons face to the board. She saw every possible move she could make. She knew all of his moves, but there was no pattern to his game. He seemed to be taking no prisoners; he was the alliance, and she a tiny brown coat. She was going to lose and that thought frightened her. If there was ever a constant in the whole universe, it was that she could always beat Simon. If that was no longer constant, then everything she knew could be wrong. She would have to win another way. She expanded her thought to rest of the ship, to the other members of the crew, and something she saw would only take a few moments of patience before Simon would be distracted enough to lower his guard.

"It's your move River." He said leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head. River slid the castle to a place where he could take it. When she let it go he laughed openly and stole her piece with a pawn. She was not surprised though her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. He was rolling in the smell of victory. River quickly shifted a pawn to be taken by his Queen.

"Check!" Simon yelled ecstatically leaping to his feet.

Then as she anticipated hurried footsteps sounded from the passage leading from the infirmary. Then there was a loud thud, and Simon and River turned towards the sound. Simon's mouth dropped open as Jayne had Kaylee against the wall, her arms were wrapped around his neck and they were kissing more passionately than he had ever been with her. Simon stood up and watched them in disbelief.

They stumbled into the dining room Kaylee pushed Jayne into the kitchen counter, her leg lifting to try and wrap around him. While trying to balance on one leg she slipped and lost her balance, breaking apart their kiss. Jayne caught her with one arm and lifted her up and flung her over his shoulder. She was laughing as he grabbed her backside and gave it a squeeze. As he carried her towards the bunks he saw Simon and River staring at them and he grinned.

"We'll be in my Bunk." He said before disappearing through the doorway. Simon in shock then turned back to the chessboard where he saw all the pieces save two scattered across the table. The two kings were the only pieces remaining on the board. Rivers' King stood next to his own which had been laid down on its side.

"Checkmate." River said grinning widely. Simon dropped into his seat with a thud, defeated.


End file.
